Hypnotize

So, I used to have two older blogs back in high school/beginning of university and really they were mostly a writing ground, a way to keep in touch with my friends and also the result of emotions that I was not mature enough at the time to handle properly.

In the last post I did, two long years ago, there are two comments on it.  One is spam (surprise!).  The other though, reflected on how I was already seemingly throwing in the towel on life, and at so young an age.  It made me think.  I’ve come a long way since these posts through self reflection, journals, prose, and with an incredibly patient, loving and supportive man beside me.  There were times when I really did want to just throw it all away and say “screw it” life sucks.  But things change.  To this day, I cannot forget the incredibly real emotions I felt, and I will never dismiss how horrible life was sometimes.  Even teenagers can feel adult feelings.  Sometimes bad things are not all made up in the mind.

But eventually I matured.  Eventually life got better.  I wish I could let the anonymous poster in his now mid-30’s know that I am mostly okay now (nobody will ever be truly, 100% okay, I think).

Life is a journey that is either short or long.  If mine can feel long in terms of years, I want it to feel short because I have loved and lived to the best of my ability.  I don’t want any regrets.

So to myself and others: get your ass out of bed, respect your living space, follow your passions the best you can and love what deserves to be loved wholeheartedly and without secrecy.  Believe what you want to believe and don’t let anyone else tell you how to think.  You were given a wonderful mind to think with, so formulate your own thoughts, don’t just live off of the digested claims of another.

This post was actually supposed to be about something totally different, but that post is postponed after looking at my old blog and being so moved.  Hopefully that doesn’t disappoint too many people.  It’s nice to speak from the heart every once in a while.

(Oh, and I still like to listen to System of a Down.)

A degree in being Literate

I am terribly insane.  Which I figure makes me normal.

I’m pretty girly, by some standards.  I like my nails done, I like to write in pastel pink and purple pilot pens, I have an obsession with any Real Housewives franchise (especially Vancouver) and have an attachment to Hello Kitty which is probably unhealthy and makes my boyfriend frequently facepalm.  I am a bit of a princess.

Typical girl, yea?

But when I was young I read The Andromeda Strain, not Sweet Valley High.  I chose Tolkien over Blume and picked The Shining up at the garage sale instead of the Nicholas Sparks romance.

Yes, I read hand-me-down babysitters club as an 8-year-old and I will steadfastly promote Meg Cabot and all the Princess Diaries–but I pine for good writing and thoughtful fiction.  Princess Mia is, after all, much more badass in writing than her Anne Hathaway counterpart (no offense, Disney likes to butcher anything worth producing).

I’m out there.  I subscribe to Quill & Quire and follow Xiaxue.  I watch Sailor Moon in Japanese and read manga.  I read Wikipedia for fun and try to learn 3 languages at a time, trying to fix my terrible French accent.  Sashimi is my vice and I love watching Supernatural with my boyfriend.  I love hashtags and Starbucks and Sephora and Victoria’s Secret.

But my goal here?  Write.  To write and to share my writing journey.  To take my favourite fiction and honour it with my own fiction, and my own opinions.

I am here to fight for the English Degree.  A laughable post-secondary pursuit because it has been sullied by the dirty paws of too many spoiled children wasting their parents’ money.  They never could figure out quite what to do so they’ll wait around here until good connections drop opportune employment in their laps.  Kids who still can’t figure out after 4 years the difference between “your” and “you’re” have made the English Degree synonymous with a Slacker’s Degree.

I’m here to reclaim the meaning for myself.  I’m here to push myself to write.  To edit.  To publish.  To dream.

And occasionally post about the latest Game of Thrones episode, and how it wasn’t long enough.