I’m gonna change you like a remix, and then raise you like a phoenix

It’s hard to keep on top of things in life.

There’s exams (T_T), family, friends, chores, bills, fun, etc.

I’m pretty sure I bombed the exams.  I hope I’m not the only one. At least the weather is nice now.

I recently bought a car and am enjoying the new freedom.  I also recently bought tickets for a concert in September.  Two of my favourite bands are on tour and I am so excited!!!

I mean, these are people that I have been listening to since before high school.  They first went on indefinite hiatus and I screamed with joy when I heard they made another album, and then that it was released so quickly.  The second I thought I would never get to see in concert.  It’s a dream come true for me.

And now, to get a car and pop in a new CD 5 years later and still be in love, it’s so surreal.

A bit of a backstory to get to the moral of this.  I have been searching for a car for a while.  I got my license late; I left home early and no one really ever took the time to teach me and so I only got it recently.  A car seemed like a distant, rosy dream.  I absolutely love driving though, so it seemed a cruel fate.

But I finally saved enough money for a car!  So I searched and searched.  I found one that looked good…but in the end proved too expensive.  And then, last week, there they were, two perfectly priced cars.  I made appointments to see them–but they were snatched up before I could get to them.  The second time my appointment was cancelled half an hour before I was supposed to see it.  Fueled by frustration, my boyfriend’s family and I furiously scavenged the ads for more vehicles and lo and behold, the perfect candidate!

Two hours later I became the proud new owner of a nice little V6 compact car, a shiny silver North American beauty all my own.  The streets are now mine to roam!

Patience pays off.  We need to save our money.  We need to wait for good things, good music.  We can’t force things to happen, or they won’t.  Or at least they won’t happen the right way.  Sometimes you’re so caught up with Pete’s eyeliner and charm you forget that Patrick is the real deal (if you get that reference, marry me).

These past few weeks have really taught me that life does not always go as we expect it, and that’s usually a good thing.

Now off to watch Kanokon!

On a Rainy Sunday

So, I am sitting here on a Sunday afternoon debating if I want to power through the rest of Pirate Latitudes (Michael Crichton’s last *tear* book published posthumously) or say screw it all and try and level my night elf on WOW or if I should try and figure out the best route through Gran Pulse in FFXIII without dying a bazillion times.

Of course, there are also the practical options, like cleaning…laundry….or in general getting off the Internet. (But then you would have nothing to read! Oh noes!)

To be honest, I LOVE warm, rainy, spring weekends.  There is nothing better than curling up and or getting things done.  They are really calming to a person like me. That is why it is so hard to decide what to do.

What I really need to do though, is what I am most fervently avoiding until tomorrow, and that is hardcore studying for my exams at the end of next week.

I’ve realized something though.  I can study a lot, and I can retain most of the information, but what the better question is, is do I understand the information?  I can use a formula type rubric, say this fits under heading A, this is under heading B, and then dissect, dissect, dissect to explain what something means using terms and concepts of rhetoric…but does that mean I actually understand?

I am obviously not trying to imply that I am stupid.  But what I am trying to say is that in today’s world, to maximize profit and prestige and graduation rates, University kids are just thrown information, have terms and concepts thrown down their throats, and then sent on their merry way without having been actually told what to do. No one can take the time to explain the massive amounts of information given to us–it takes enough time just to spit out the definitions and an example.

Maybe I am complaining too much?  Maybe their goal is to encourage us to use our powers of deduction and fill in the blanks.  I just think it’s a bit too much to be left to chance.

Here’s my point: This weekend (yesterday) I went to a local festival held every year.  I met up with some old friends/kids I nannied and mentioned that I am getting into publishing, once I have my English degree and the Publishing certificate.

Well, the particular kid I was talking to got very excited, and proceeded to tell me about many friends of his who have written their own material, and I should help them edit it, and so on and so forth.  This of course puffed my chest a bit but there is a problem.

Now, grammar whiz that I am I can already do a fairly good editing job as it is.  Editing, I think, is sort of learned through absorption.  Through reading works you understand the structure of language and dialogue and plots that are sought after.  Grammar teaches you how sentences work and where to put a comma and that the semi-colon is the single greatest punctuation mark ever.  (Followed closely by a sarcastic second place, the interrobang.)

However, I am not actually educationally qualified to legitimately edit novels.  Obviously this was not a professional project, but, how well are people going to think of your editing skills if you don’t have a piece of paper backing it up?  That damn piece of paper….

So frustrating! I mean, I wrote a novella, and it was relatively crappy because I was young and too romantic and I rushed the plot and many other reasons.  If I went back and edited it, I could turn it into something decent, and not because of school but because I am simply older and more mature and have a better grasp on this stuff.  The things I currently write are much better because of experience.  Not necessarily school, and not a slip of paper.

I am pining for the day I graduate, simply for that piece of paper.  I am trying my hardest to understand these concepts and terms and how to apply them, because I want to apply them.  I ardently daydream about writing novels, or editing novels, or seeing them put on the shelf, or all three.

But I won’t give up in between.  I will still write everyday, read everyday and revise everyday to know that I personally feel up to the task.  I will give in and study tomorrow and everyday until my exams, but I won’t forget to do what I actually enjoy in the mean time.  School can kill passion; I won’t let that happen.

So excuse me while I read my Crichton novel, then clean a little house and do a little gaming before settling down to the books.