Hypnotize

So, I used to have two older blogs back in high school/beginning of university and really they were mostly a writing ground, a way to keep in touch with my friends and also the result of emotions that I was not mature enough at the time to handle properly.

In the last post I did, two long years ago, there are two comments on it.  One is spam (surprise!).  The other though, reflected on how I was already seemingly throwing in the towel on life, and at so young an age.  It made me think.  I’ve come a long way since these posts through self reflection, journals, prose, and with an incredibly patient, loving and supportive man beside me.  There were times when I really did want to just throw it all away and say “screw it” life sucks.  But things change.  To this day, I cannot forget the incredibly real emotions I felt, and I will never dismiss how horrible life was sometimes.  Even teenagers can feel adult feelings.  Sometimes bad things are not all made up in the mind.

But eventually I matured.  Eventually life got better.  I wish I could let the anonymous poster in his now mid-30’s know that I am mostly okay now (nobody will ever be truly, 100% okay, I think).

Life is a journey that is either short or long.  If mine can feel long in terms of years, I want it to feel short because I have loved and lived to the best of my ability.  I don’t want any regrets.

So to myself and others: get your ass out of bed, respect your living space, follow your passions the best you can and love what deserves to be loved wholeheartedly and without secrecy.  Believe what you want to believe and don’t let anyone else tell you how to think.  You were given a wonderful mind to think with, so formulate your own thoughts, don’t just live off of the digested claims of another.

This post was actually supposed to be about something totally different, but that post is postponed after looking at my old blog and being so moved.  Hopefully that doesn’t disappoint too many people.  It’s nice to speak from the heart every once in a while.

(Oh, and I still like to listen to System of a Down.)

A Vacation; A Fakecation

So, been a while.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been posting as frequently as I would have liked.  Weekly quotes are not enough to service an entire blog.  Well, maybe a Tumblr blog. (Speaking of which, they were just purchased by Yahoo!, who I didn’t know really were in the habit of acquiring anything other than more answers to stupid questions….)

I never really got in to Tumblr, I think maybe because it was always more of my little sister’s thing, and I’ll let her have her thing.  I have Twitter 😀

Back to the point.  I am moving soon! To a perfect little (big) loft out in the country.  Super stoked and it’s been eating all my time.  Basically, couple packing and moving and work and sleep and babysitting and Victoria Day long weekend all in one month and it’s not really surprising I find it difficult to sit down and hash out a few words on the keyboard, which is very enjoyable.

One of the things I am most excited for is a fresh start.  Rearrange all my things in a space that is truly my own (and my boyfriend’s), and be able to accomplish things (writing, reading, catching up on Dexter and baking as many things on Pinterest as humanly possible) in my own way.  I’ve finished my Supernatural and Game of Thrones will be over soon too; I need something besides Top Gear UK and Final Fantasy now to fill my spare time.  I need to get a move on.

Here’s the thing.  I recently watched a TED video about not squandering your 20’s, and I am very prone to squandering.  I am excited to get everything organized and on track.

This blog will take quite a few posts before it finally decides what its main focus is going to be, and that’s the best part.

All I know is that I am finally on track.