work hard, you must.

Life has been…overwhelming.  Exams coming up…work.  Who needs all that?

(oh, wait, me T_T)

I’d rather be writing.  Or playing XIV 😛

(I should make a shirt like that)

Even my personal journal is neglected and I’m worried I won’t be able to do Camp NaNo, again 😦

In an effort to not appear a complete lazy ass, here’s an inspirational quote!

                         

Seriously though… this Star Wars is maybe more understandable for those who don’t speak wookie:

“Do or do not. There is no try”

~Yoda

So, if you’re feeling like me, a million commitments and overwhelmed with to do lists and simply “trying”…just take one step at a time 🙂

You know the signs; nails go untended, showers are shorter (and less frequent…maybe? Just me? Ok >.>) and breakfast is…wait what’s breakfast?

But, it’ll be okay.

You’ll get it done just keep checking off that list.

You may have to put aside social life for a couple weeks >.>

But it will be worth it!  Honestly though, a status update via social media now and again will inform your peers of your busy schedule and remind them you aren’t ignoring them, if that’s something weighing you down.

We need others to take the overwhelming feelings away, to not feel alone in our efforts to muck our way through the days.

So keep them in the loop even if you can’t make a physical appearance.  It will keep them from pulling you away from your work until it’s finished and lift the weight off your mind of them having any expectations from you, socially, when you simply can’t commit the time.

It’s all about communication!

 And some closing tips:  constantly keep a notepad, some foolscap (I just like that word) or a document open on your phone or computer to write down the little ideas that come in your head so you can fulfill them when you do have the time.  This will keep you on track and less rushed, working on several things at once.  I do this frequently and it really helps.

 And if you’ve done really well, its not completely unacceptable to have an hour or two to yourself for fun, so don’t work yourself to the bone or you’ll get burned out!

Good luck!

Jusdooiiiiit!

So there’s this thing called motivation and…normally I don’t have it. I look at others and their busy lives, and myself, and my busy life, and realize that they’re still doing more than me, even though I complain so much …

“Everyone Struggles With Self Love”

In light of the passing of Philip Seymour Hoffman (*weeps*) I have determined life is too short and it is high time to blow some life back into these electronic pages.

It’s not to say it’s the same; comparing the death of someone to returning to a blog.  But I would say the reasoning behind it is similar.  This unfortunate occurrence jolted something within me.  So much of life and what you do is based on one’s mental state.  I suppose the shape of this blog reflected my own frame of mind, which was that of disrepair.

Reading into his life a bit more, it’s interesting to think of how inspirational he could be.

An actor, where you feel his words are genuine.  Something I particularly admired was from a list of quotes:

“If you’re a human being walking the earth, you’re weird, you’re strange, you’re psychologically challenged.”

If your own mental state is as frazzled as mine has been, remember that.  Remember to chase things you enjoy.  Grab life by the handlebars once again, or for the first time.

How sweet does it feel to get back on the metaphorical bicycle!

There are some things one should realize from life, items I have listed here from my musings and recent experience.

Love a lot, and if you’re left broken it’s okay, and natural, and you need to use this as experience to survive life, because it’s not always roses, and that is also natural.

It is not selfish to put yourself first sometimes, in fact, it can be necessary. 

Do not place the power over you in other people. 

Don’t stand for bullshit, of any kind.  Purge it and unnecessary negativity from your life. 

Stating your opinion, and having a voice does not make you horrible, or a bitch. 

Do not shut yourself out from life.  Do not shut out people who care.  Rationalize before you make decisions. 

Be true to yourself, and trust in yourself.  

but most of all,

Always be kind. 

Hypnotize

So, I used to have two older blogs back in high school/beginning of university and really they were mostly a writing ground, a way to keep in touch with my friends and also the result of emotions that I was not mature enough at the time to handle properly.

In the last post I did, two long years ago, there are two comments on it.  One is spam (surprise!).  The other though, reflected on how I was already seemingly throwing in the towel on life, and at so young an age.  It made me think.  I’ve come a long way since these posts through self reflection, journals, prose, and with an incredibly patient, loving and supportive man beside me.  There were times when I really did want to just throw it all away and say “screw it” life sucks.  But things change.  To this day, I cannot forget the incredibly real emotions I felt, and I will never dismiss how horrible life was sometimes.  Even teenagers can feel adult feelings.  Sometimes bad things are not all made up in the mind.

But eventually I matured.  Eventually life got better.  I wish I could let the anonymous poster in his now mid-30’s know that I am mostly okay now (nobody will ever be truly, 100% okay, I think).

Life is a journey that is either short or long.  If mine can feel long in terms of years, I want it to feel short because I have loved and lived to the best of my ability.  I don’t want any regrets.

So to myself and others: get your ass out of bed, respect your living space, follow your passions the best you can and love what deserves to be loved wholeheartedly and without secrecy.  Believe what you want to believe and don’t let anyone else tell you how to think.  You were given a wonderful mind to think with, so formulate your own thoughts, don’t just live off of the digested claims of another.

This post was actually supposed to be about something totally different, but that post is postponed after looking at my old blog and being so moved.  Hopefully that doesn’t disappoint too many people.  It’s nice to speak from the heart every once in a while.

(Oh, and I still like to listen to System of a Down.)

Mhysa

Quick post this morning to prove to myself I haven’t totally forgotten all about this blog.

We just moved in to a loft apartment, yay!  It’s beautiful and fantastic and wonderful.  Boy starts pretty early for work at his new job, so I wake up early too.  This will hopefully give me the motivation to write more.  I remember reading a memoir by Steven King, and one of the things that hit most was that he would wake up super early, take out his Mac to the sunlit porch area, and write for a few hours.  Writing every day was essential.

He also advised writing something and putting it away for a few months before editing, even a year.  So when the boy says to me, “you can just pop out a couple books a year, eh?” I laugh a bit.

Anyways, this apartment has the atmosphere I crave; wood, medium lighting, rich colours, big windows, and that cozy, welcoming feel I’ve long missed. I will post a picture when everything is unpacked and in its place.

A few things on the to do list; reread the Song of Ice and Fire series since season three is over (*bawl*), find out everything that happened at E3 since I go to bed super early now and don’t have cable, and finally get everything organized on my own terms, now that I have my own space.  Life is finally starting to get exciting.

Also, one bitch rant: it is freaking ridiculous trying to play WiiU with nunchucks.  I spent half an hour Saturday trying to get Link to jump across some stupid rocks without falling and almost broke the Wiimotes….  Does anyone else have this problem or am I just…a little handicapped?

A Vacation; A Fakecation

So, been a while.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been posting as frequently as I would have liked.  Weekly quotes are not enough to service an entire blog.  Well, maybe a Tumblr blog. (Speaking of which, they were just purchased by Yahoo!, who I didn’t know really were in the habit of acquiring anything other than more answers to stupid questions….)

I never really got in to Tumblr, I think maybe because it was always more of my little sister’s thing, and I’ll let her have her thing.  I have Twitter 😀

Back to the point.  I am moving soon! To a perfect little (big) loft out in the country.  Super stoked and it’s been eating all my time.  Basically, couple packing and moving and work and sleep and babysitting and Victoria Day long weekend all in one month and it’s not really surprising I find it difficult to sit down and hash out a few words on the keyboard, which is very enjoyable.

One of the things I am most excited for is a fresh start.  Rearrange all my things in a space that is truly my own (and my boyfriend’s), and be able to accomplish things (writing, reading, catching up on Dexter and baking as many things on Pinterest as humanly possible) in my own way.  I’ve finished my Supernatural and Game of Thrones will be over soon too; I need something besides Top Gear UK and Final Fantasy now to fill my spare time.  I need to get a move on.

Here’s the thing.  I recently watched a TED video about not squandering your 20’s, and I am very prone to squandering.  I am excited to get everything organized and on track.

This blog will take quite a few posts before it finally decides what its main focus is going to be, and that’s the best part.

All I know is that I am finally on track.

I’m gonna change you like a remix, and then raise you like a phoenix

It’s hard to keep on top of things in life.

There’s exams (T_T), family, friends, chores, bills, fun, etc.

I’m pretty sure I bombed the exams.  I hope I’m not the only one. At least the weather is nice now.

I recently bought a car and am enjoying the new freedom.  I also recently bought tickets for a concert in September.  Two of my favourite bands are on tour and I am so excited!!!

I mean, these are people that I have been listening to since before high school.  They first went on indefinite hiatus and I screamed with joy when I heard they made another album, and then that it was released so quickly.  The second I thought I would never get to see in concert.  It’s a dream come true for me.

And now, to get a car and pop in a new CD 5 years later and still be in love, it’s so surreal.

A bit of a backstory to get to the moral of this.  I have been searching for a car for a while.  I got my license late; I left home early and no one really ever took the time to teach me and so I only got it recently.  A car seemed like a distant, rosy dream.  I absolutely love driving though, so it seemed a cruel fate.

But I finally saved enough money for a car!  So I searched and searched.  I found one that looked good…but in the end proved too expensive.  And then, last week, there they were, two perfectly priced cars.  I made appointments to see them–but they were snatched up before I could get to them.  The second time my appointment was cancelled half an hour before I was supposed to see it.  Fueled by frustration, my boyfriend’s family and I furiously scavenged the ads for more vehicles and lo and behold, the perfect candidate!

Two hours later I became the proud new owner of a nice little V6 compact car, a shiny silver North American beauty all my own.  The streets are now mine to roam!

Patience pays off.  We need to save our money.  We need to wait for good things, good music.  We can’t force things to happen, or they won’t.  Or at least they won’t happen the right way.  Sometimes you’re so caught up with Pete’s eyeliner and charm you forget that Patrick is the real deal (if you get that reference, marry me).

These past few weeks have really taught me that life does not always go as we expect it, and that’s usually a good thing.

Now off to watch Kanokon!

A degree in being Literate

I am terribly insane.  Which I figure makes me normal.

I’m pretty girly, by some standards.  I like my nails done, I like to write in pastel pink and purple pilot pens, I have an obsession with any Real Housewives franchise (especially Vancouver) and have an attachment to Hello Kitty which is probably unhealthy and makes my boyfriend frequently facepalm.  I am a bit of a princess.

Typical girl, yea?

But when I was young I read The Andromeda Strain, not Sweet Valley High.  I chose Tolkien over Blume and picked The Shining up at the garage sale instead of the Nicholas Sparks romance.

Yes, I read hand-me-down babysitters club as an 8-year-old and I will steadfastly promote Meg Cabot and all the Princess Diaries–but I pine for good writing and thoughtful fiction.  Princess Mia is, after all, much more badass in writing than her Anne Hathaway counterpart (no offense, Disney likes to butcher anything worth producing).

I’m out there.  I subscribe to Quill & Quire and follow Xiaxue.  I watch Sailor Moon in Japanese and read manga.  I read Wikipedia for fun and try to learn 3 languages at a time, trying to fix my terrible French accent.  Sashimi is my vice and I love watching Supernatural with my boyfriend.  I love hashtags and Starbucks and Sephora and Victoria’s Secret.

But my goal here?  Write.  To write and to share my writing journey.  To take my favourite fiction and honour it with my own fiction, and my own opinions.

I am here to fight for the English Degree.  A laughable post-secondary pursuit because it has been sullied by the dirty paws of too many spoiled children wasting their parents’ money.  They never could figure out quite what to do so they’ll wait around here until good connections drop opportune employment in their laps.  Kids who still can’t figure out after 4 years the difference between “your” and “you’re” have made the English Degree synonymous with a Slacker’s Degree.

I’m here to reclaim the meaning for myself.  I’m here to push myself to write.  To edit.  To publish.  To dream.

And occasionally post about the latest Game of Thrones episode, and how it wasn’t long enough.